Just Like You
by nekoloveerr
Summary: Gilbert feels bad about the fact he wasn't able to protect Oz, about the fact he's completely useless. He wished he was just like him.
1. Chapter 1

_blegh. retrace 92 freaked me out. i needed to write something about anything but the present time there. so. here it is. set in the time Oz is in the abyss. Gilbert is twenty-two. some hints of Gilbert/Break... But nothing really._

_**edit lol, a review said i messed up with time. sorry! _

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_Caged like a little black bird. That's what I am. Bound by golden chains. Not able to move forward. That's what I am. Blind. A blindfolded little Raven, that's what I am. I was never able to notice the fact that I am helpless. Until now. I was not able to protect my beloved. I am weak. Weak oh so weak. Tears are always streaming down when I think about what happened back then. I am just a useless little Raven. Just like they all tell me._

_I'd wish I was more like him. He is able to protect the ones he loves. He is strong. He is everything I want to be. Why can't I be more like him? I've tried to many times, but I always fail. In the eight years I know him, I still can't be like him. No matter how hard I try, I'll always be that stupid, useless, blindfolded Raven._

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Gilbert sat on the cold floor of his small bedroom in Pandora. He was twenty-two years old, eight years since Oz was cast into the Abyss... And still he couldn't so anything about it. He felt useless, like always. He sat there for more than an hour, one hour became two, two became three. He sat there like forever. He didn't want to get up and face the world when he was feeling like this. He jus wanted to stay there, on the cold floor, his own arms wrapped around him to give him some warmth. After he accepted he was totally useless. He felt rather peaceful.

But of course, _he_ was there to interrupt poor Gilbert's peace.

"Raven ~? Are you here?" His voice barley awakened Gilbert from the trance he has been in for three hours. The wooden door of his room opened, and a certain white haired Mad Hatter came in. "Raven?" He asked again. Gilbert didn't respond. He didn't want to let Break see how vulnerable he was right now. Break would make fun of his weaknesses. Gilbert hated it when the older man did things like that. Strong Break would always make fun of weak Raven. But Gilbert wanted to be as strong as Break.

"Raven, why're you on the ground for goodness sake?" Break asked as he poked Gilbert with his left foot. Gilbert growled as response, and wrapped his arms tighter around his stomach while covering his face with his curly black bangs. "Raven, seriously, get up. Only idiots sit on the floor like that" Break said, and he poked Gilbert again.

"Break, shut up."

It sounded way more vulnerable than Gilbert wished, but at least Break stopped with poking him. "Raven. Do you want me to call you an idiot?" Break said, obviously annoyed by Gilbert. The poor black haired boy let out a sigh when he felt some tears coming _up. I am an idiot and Oz, Oz, Oz_. Was all he could think about right now. _Why wasn't I able to protect him? Useless idiot that I am._ Gilbert sobbed out loud now. _Idiot, idiot, idiot_. _Let Break call me idiot. I am! _He sobbed again.

The Mad Hatter sighed when he heard that sound, and sat down in front of Gilbert. "Raven, what is wrong?" Gilbert shrugged, and sobbed again, his face still hidden by his black curly locks. "Tell me, Gilbert...what is wrong?"

"N-nothing" Gilbert stuttered, quickly wiping away the tears that ran down his cheeks. _I don't want you to know.. I don't want you of all people to know how weak I am. I want you to think about me as someone who is strong...just like you..._. Gilbert rested his head in his hands and took a deep breath. "Really...it's nothing," he said, sounding a lot calmer now. He even sounded like he meant it._ I'm becoming so good at lying_... But that lie only received him a punch in his face. "Gilbert. You are an idiot."

"I know," Gilbert said with a sad smile in his young face, "I know. I am a weak, helpless idiot, I know, Break. You don't have to tell me all the time.." Break was actually surprised by Gilbert's kind of depressing words, and he sighed while coming a little closer to the sad looking Raven. "It's about your precious master again, hm?" Break spoke softly.

Gilbert looked up to the man in front of him, his beautiful golden eyes still full of tears, but then nodded. Lying to Break was helpless too.

Break smiled a little at Gilbert, trying to comfort the crying boy. Break knew how Raven felt right now. He had been trough that state too, when he just escaped out of the Abyss, years ago. He didn't want Raven, little innocent Raven, to feel the same pain as he felt back then, he knows it was bothering the boy he could not save master back then for eight years, yet Gilbert did not really show it in Break's company. Break came closer to Gilbert, and wrapped his arms around the boy, pulling him in a tight embrace. _This always helped me... finding new people to care about..._

Gilbert froze when he felt the hatters arms around him, when he was pulled into the mans chest. "B-Break.. Stop it.." He protested, and he struggled a bit. But Break did not let him go, he even embraced Gilbert tighter. After a few minutes, Gilbert relaxed and he closed his eyes, smelling the scent of sugar and tea and feeling the warmth of Break's chest on his cheek.

"Why can't I be more like you?" It was barley a whisper.

"What?"

"Why can't I be more like you?" He said, louder this time. And he looked up to face the red eyed man, "_why can't I be more like you?!_" It even sounded angry this time. Like Gilbert was angry with himself for being so weakhearted, and kind. "More... Like me?" Break asked, completely surprised by Gilbert's sudden change. The Raven nodded, "yes! Like you! Strong, and able to protect the ones I love!"

Break laughed. Break laughed uncontrollably at him. Gilbert's face grew bright red, was he really that helpless? Did Break believe he wasn't able to get strong sometime too? "Don't laugh at me, you bastard!" Gilbert shouted angrily as he pushed the hatter away from him. He immediately missed the mans warmth.

"Oh no, Gilbert, I am not laughing at you. I am laughing at myself for giving you such bad ideas of me" he sighed, "I was not able to protect the ones I loved either, I'm just like you, Gilbert.."

Gilbert was stunned. Where on earth was the Hatter talking about? Break was the strongest person he knew!

But before Gilbert could ask the white haired man something about it, Break stood up already and wiped some imaginary dirt of his clothes. After a deep breath he offered Gilbert a hand to help the black haired boy up. Gilbert accepted the cold and small hand to grab his one, and stood up, looking the man in front of him straight in the eye, don't knowing what to say. Break poked with his finger in the young boys chest.

"We will save your master, Gilbert. Together."

Gilbert nodded, and smiled. "Yes... Together."

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_A caged bird only need to be freed, right?_


	2. Chapter 2

**ahh. i told myself to get this done today, and it is even a few minutes over today, so i am really pissed off ... Hmm. **

**but thanks for the follows and stuff**

**i am so sorry for messing up with the time in the previous chapter!**

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_But how do you let a bird, who has been caged for so many years, free? Is it even possible, a little black bird, who is used to the safe cage where is no danger but only sad- and loneliness. Is it possible to break the golden chains that have bound him for ten years, to set him free into a dangerous world? A dangerous world where there is still sadness, where you still can be lonely, but where you have the opportunity to make friends... Is it even possible?_

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"Where are we going?" The young black haired boy asked the Mad Hatter who was walking a few steps before him, the white haired man walked fast, his hips moving from left to right with every step he made, Gilbert almost ran, so fast Break walked. The man had asked Gilbert to follow him, and without waiting for an answer, he just walked away, away from Gilbert's small room, leaving the boy behind. Gilbert ran after him, curiously asking himself where the Hatter wanted him for.

Break turned around with that too happy smile on his face, "you'll see, Raven. Be patient." Gilbert nodded, and followed the man again in silence. Break's shoes made a click-clack sound on the floor of Pandora Headquarters, his as a cane disguised sword swung from the left to the right on his hip, his dark purple - almost black - coat flowing behind him. Even when he's walking he looks so confident... _How does he do it?_

Gilbert sighed and suddenly felt embarrassed for his moment of weeping just a few minutes ago in his room. He totally lost control over his feelings, while Break of all people was looking. How he needed to be cuddled like a little kid. Embarrassing, oh so embarrassing. Gilbert silently hoped Break was not going to tease him with it, to tell everybody about how he was crying about his precious master Oz. How gloomy and depressed the young Nightray boy was.

But Gilbert also felt a little bit of happiness trough the usual sad- and loneliness. Break was going to help him to get Oz back out of the Abyss.

Break had promised that on their first meeting too, but he never seemed to work on it, or even pay attention to his promise, like he only promised it to make Gilbert do what he wanted, something that Gilbert could imagine easily... but this time, he seemed to be honest. Break was powerful enough to help him, right? Yes, the Mad Hatter definitely was. Break was called the strongest person in Pandora after all.

Gilbert felt something creeping on his face, something he had not felt in a very long time, Gilbert actually smiled a real smile.

"Come, come, little Raven. Walk a bit faster," the white haired man sighed as he stopped walking to look where Raven was. Gilbert's smile quickly dissapeared when he saw how Break looked at him, Break's expression was one with a raised eyebrow, like he thought Gilbert was a complete idiot. Gilbert blushed bright red, and quickly looked down, to the floor of Pandora's head quarter. "Sorry" the young Raven muttered as he continued to walk next to Break.

"Stop excusing yourself for stupid things" the Mad Hatter said, in a bit of an annoyed tone.

"S-sorry.." The raven haired male stuttered and blushed even harder. Why can't I do something to make him think about me as someone respectable? Not the blushing, crying and panicking idiot I really am? Gilbert asked himself, while making fists. He needed to become more like him. He had to reach that goal even before he would try to get Oz back out of the Abyss.. How would he be able to save (and maybe even protect if he really came back) Oz when he is as weak and stupid as now? Not! _I have to become strong..._

"Gilbert, I said stop excusing yourself," The albino sighed and he stopped in front of a dark wooden door, exactly the same as all the doors in Pandora. Break opened the door, the door creaked as it opened further. The white haired man walked into the room behind it. "Come in, Raven" he said with a clownish grin on his pale face "don't be shy ~ !"

Gilbert set a few steps into the room, and immediately smelled the sweet scent of sweets. It smelled like Gilbert walked into a candy shop. "Welcome to my room" the white haired Mad Hatter said as he closed the door behind him. Break dropped his sword somewhere in a corner, and walked past Gilbert, who was looking around. Gilbert had never been in Xerxes Break's room, Break seemed to like his privacy. Gil could understand, he would like some privacy too, but everyone just walked into his room like it was their own. Even this shows he is better than me, Gilbert thought and he sighed in despair.

"Raven, it's rude to not listen to people when they are talking to you." Break interrupted Gilbert from his thoughts. Break had been talking about something he was sure Gilbert wanted to hear.

"Oh, eh... What did you say?" Gilbert muttered, and looked to the ground with a blush on his face, like usual. Suddenly the floor of Break's large room was really interesting. The red eyed man threw his hands in the air and sighed dramatically, "Raven, have you ever learned manners?" He said, in the same dramatical way as his sigh, like Gilbert was the most helpless thing he ever saw.

The young Raven probably was... Because Gilbert did not understand him in the slightest.

"E-eh.. Yes, of course I learned manners.. Why would you think I did not!?" Gilbert said, defending himself. But even though he was 'defending' himself, his eyes were fixed to the ground. _Why does he think I did not learn manners? I did! He is the one who didn't learn manners!_ Break grinned like a mad man when he answered "because you excuse yourself for stupid things, but when you need to apologise you don't do it ~"

"I-I... Oh... S-sorry" Gilbert stuttered, a bit insecure if he had to excuse himself now.

"Good. Now can you actually listen to what I am saying?" Break said, as he walked to the desk on the other side of his room. The desk stood next to a large bookcase, Gilbert was sure there were more than a hundred books in it, he wondered what kind of books it were. Did Break like to reaUd fictional books? Or books to get information?

"Look at this" Break said as he came back to Gilbert, holding a notebook in his hands. The red eyed man handed the notebook to Gilbert with a smile, "this is how we're going to save that master of yours!" The black haired male looked from the notebook hman in front of him, surprised that the man had a plan to get his beloved Oz back. "Come on, I did not wrote that for you to only stare at it like it is a miracle ~!" Break said, still with a smile.

"Oh, y-yes.." Gilbert muttered, still a little surprised. He looked back to the white haired man, who was still standing in front of him. Raven forced himself to smile back, and he looked around, looking for a place to sit. But he did not saw a chair, except for a wooden chair by the desk, the chair covered by books, clothes, pieces of papers and candy wrappers..

"Ah, act like you're at home, Raven ~" Break said as he plopped down on his kingsize bed, sinking down between the pillows. Gilbert nodded and did as Break said, he sat down on the bed too. On the edge. Nearly falling off it, afraid Break would say he wasn't supposed to sit on the bed too. But when the white haired man did not say a word, Gilbert opened the note book in his hands.

Gilbert scanned the text, written in Break's round, almost woman like handwriting. And sighed when he was done, he closed the notebook and gave it back to Break, who smiled, "and, it's a genius plan, isn't it?"

The black haired male nodded, "yes, but... H-how much chance is there that it will work?" He stammered, while staring to his gloved hands. Break stood up from his bed, and walked to his desk to put the notebook on it. "Ten percent, I think ~" the Hatter exclaimed happily. Like ten percent was actually something good.

"O-oh" Gilbert said, not able to hide his disappointment. He bit his lip, he actually hoped that Break's plan was ready to succeed.. _I shouldn't have thought that... Break can't do anything about it... I should thank him for trying... I need to thank him... Even though I won't be able to save Oz... Oz.._

"T-thanks Break.."

"Ah?" Break looked at Gilbert, and sat down in front of him, "thank me for what?" Gilbert shrugged and and tried to stop the tears from welling up in his eyes. "Gilbert," Break said and he sighed deeply, "don't cry, if this plan doesn't work we find another plan, okay?"

"Y-yes."

"Don't give up your hope so easily."

"O-okay.."

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_But is it even possible?_


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